~ My Emotional Needs As A Wife ~

I fall short of the glory of God daily as I am not spotless, especially as a wife but I believe in those falls God is trying to get my attention. Something happened recently that made me shift my focus and start thinking about who I let meet my emotional needs in my marriage. I starting thinking about how often do I let my Heavenly Father meet my emotional needs within my marriage.

The Lord has worked on me in this area hard lately and I would imagine that He will continue too. When I get mad at my husband I often dwell and pout if my husband is not being what I call "there for me".There are many times that I look to my husband to be my rock, shield and protector when I should be looking for God to be my sole source. When my husband disappoints me (which he will) or of course shows he is human just like me and I think he is responsible for “making me mad” where or who do I run to for emotional comfort?

Do I fight and argue my way until my husband soothes me or do I run to my Heavenly Father and let Him fill me? Unfortunately, I have given my husband the burden of fulfilling my every need at times and I have forgotten that God wants to fill me. Yes, there is nothing wrong with my husband being my partner, my best friend and lover BUT when I let him be my SOLE source in situations, there is a problem. I raise my hand in guilt because this can very well be the case in many scenarios lately. God wants my attention when my husband and I disagree. He wants to guide me and help me, He wants me to seek Him before anything. Bottom line Ladies God is thee only source that will fill our every emotional need that we have and HE is very jealous when we allow someone else to be what HE is supposed to be in our lives. God will get our attention somehow.

I will say that yes my husband does need to be mindful of my needs and understand me and vice versa so our marriage can flourish. BUT my husband will not know the very workings of me like my Heavenly Father does as he was not designed too. It is not his responsibility to get it right all the time and be MY everything so why am I pissed at him when he fails? God has designed me so that only He can fulfill all my emotional needs and I need to learn to go to Him and not my husband for everything. Because it is not fair that I place all that burden on my honey baby. I was reminded of this the other day and I make it my solemn prayer that I lower my expectations with my spouse and give him room to breathe because where there is freedom in my marriage our love can truly flourish.

Ladies, let’s ask the Lord to become our sole source and help us to run to Him instead of our husbands first. 

In Christ, 

Monique Smith

Prayer Starter: 

Lord, you are my provider, shield and protector and only you can fill every hole in me. I love you Father and I want to not place any one or thing above you. Please help me to run to you to meet any emotional needs I have in my marriage instead of giving my husband that sole responsibility. I have a Heavenly Husband in you and it is not my desire to neglect you. Thank you for loving me and opening up my eyes. Decrease me Father so that you can increase totally in my marriage. Amen. 

~ Why Read the Bible? ~

In the beginning of my walk with the Lord I often wondered why do I need to read the Bible. I thought if God can speak directly to my heart then if I don’t read His word will he stop speaking to me? Will he stop loving me? Does His presence only come when I read His word? I was confused. I had legitimate questions and I wanted answers. So I started researching and in my researching I sought the word of God. I learned something powerful in that moment. If you have any questions take them to the Lord, he will show you.

Sisters, God’s word is alive! The more I expose myself to it the more it will expose itself to me. Reading the word of God is for our benefit. How can you grow spiritually if you are not reading truth and guidance on how to grow? I guess the question is do you want to grow? Something powerful happens when you get scripture tucked deep into your heart and not just do it for a "religious reason" or because it is a check in the box. Not only do you now have a defense against being misled by this world and your adversary but you gain wisdom by reading God's word. The word of God has changed my life. Through it I found much truth and revelation. Most importantly, I found Jesus. Will you allow yourself to be changed by reading such truth? 

Let’s look at some scriptures shall we: 

In John 8:31-32: Jesus said “If you continue in my word, you are truly disciples, and you will know the truth and the truth will make you free” I don’t know about you but do you not want to be a disciple of our Father? Be a light in this world? How about truth do you want that in your life? We all struggle in different areas of our lives and Jesus says “continue in my word”. Not, read me IF you feel like it. Do you want to be free from bondage? Reading the word helps give you clarity to certain situations you face so you can journey on to becoming free from your past. 

Joshua 1:8 – Don’t stop reading this book of law, but day and night think of what it says, so you can be careful to do everything written in it, THEN you will proper and succeed”.  How about prospering? Do you want to prosper?  To prosper is to flourish, to bloom, to get ahead, and to progress in this world. Do you want to bloom spiritually or just in other worldly areas? What is important to you? 

The word of God builds your faith (Acts 20:32) Oooooo ladies? Faith? Can’t we all use some help with our faith? Oh Jesus, I know I need help in this area. Why in the world would I reject something that is good for me? The Bible will help me. Are you afraid that spending time in the word will make you deal with you? I know I was afraid of that for a long time. 

Lastly, the Bible is used for teaching, correction and preparation for every good thing (2 Timothy 3:16-17) this verse sticks out for me because I think of being a parent. As a mama, I want to see my kids learn and not fall for the lies of this world. Don’t we want to teach and correct our children properly and have them learn substance? Do we not want to prepare them for every good thing? Well, our Father loves us so much he left his word to help us all with that. How loving of a Father do we have that He thought to not leave us hanging here on this earth. That he gave us a wonderful guide for living, His word.

Why read the word of God you ask? So you can become all that God has planned for you to be. You can't really understand your purpose if you don't see what God says about it. God will intercede on your behalf but when do you start moving? Your action is needed in your walk with the Lord. The question "why read the Bible" brings perspective if you are looking at it with God’s eyes and not your own.

Today, I encourage you to leave your thoughts at the feet of Christ and truly open up your heart to receive all that the Lord wants to teach you through His word. I promise you that you will not just be uplifted or encouraged. BUT you will find purpose, peace, joy and wholeness to name a few things. Reading His word will bring you healing over time, this I know first hand.

In Christ,

Monique Smith

Prayer Starter:

Lord, forgive us for being so analytical of your word and thinking too much in our flesh that we cannot hear you. Your word gives us life and helps us to embrace you, mediate on you and soak in all that comes from you. It helps us decrease so that you can increase in our lives. Lord, will you help us with the desire of reading it and practicing it as well. We want to love what you love and we now know that the Bible teaches us these things. I thank you for your patience with us and for lovingly guiding us to your truth. Amen

~ You Have Authority ~

It is the middle of the day and you have just sat down for much needed rest. You are so mentally and physically exhausted from ripping and running you just long for a break. You start to think about your do to list. In an effort to be still you try to seek the Lord and you go and grab your Bible to start to read. As you read, your mind wanders to “what will I cook for dinner”, “when will the baby wake”, “How come he did not kiss me goodbye” “how will I pay for the rent”. The questions keep going back and forth in your head and you look down to only have closed your Bible because you cannot seem to concentrate. You ever been there? I know I have.

How come you cannot concentrate? You see sisters; your adversary knows that if he can keep you distracted in your thoughts you will not seek our Father. More than likely you will start down a road of ugly thinking and forget what you were trying to do in the first place. You desire the Lord but you seem to be stuck. Satan’s goal is to have his demons taunt you, lure you and have you question everything. He wants you hopeless serving him. When I say serving him he wants you to live in your own strength and wild like you were before Christ. The last thing he wants is for you to read the word and get closer to the Lord. 

We are not called to dispel the darkness sisters - we are called to turn on the Light. Being alive and free in Christ gives you a birthright. You do not have to be shackled to the bondage of this world let alone Satan. You can live a life liberated in Christ. You are the light of this world and the Bible says so (Matthew 5:14). You can stand up and cling to God’s truth. Reading His word will fill you with truth. When you sit to be with the Lord pray before you open the word, pray fervently that nothing will distract you from the time you are spending alone with Him.

In Colossians 1:13 it says: “but when we received Christ, God delivered us from domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son”.

Christ has not only provided us all protection, but he has given us authority over darkness. We also have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit (John 14:17), and he will guide us into all truth as well (John 16:13). We are not alone in this. We have authority! 

Whatever you are facing or thinking cling to God’s promises. Sit with Him and tell Him about what you are facing. Fill yourself up with His word. The Lord longs to hold your hand and speak to you. In the middle of those days when you long for rest and reach for your Bible, God will be with you. All those distractions are not of the Lord, they come from the enemy. Turn on the light that God instilled in you. Shine bright and focus on truth.

In Christ,

Monique Smith

Prayer Starter:

Father, I am yours and because I am I have authority over darkness. I can shine bright for your kingdom because I will cling to your truth. I long to be with you O Lord please help me to stay focused on you. When I open your word let nothing distract me from entering your presence. I thank you that I can come to you as I am and you will always have your arms open ready to love on me. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for your grace. I love you. Amen. 

You are NOT in Control....

Lately, life has been rough for me. Seems like just when I get ahead something else rears its ugly head. My husband said something to me the other day that just resonated with me. He said “don’t let the enemy win”. I starred at Him and cried because I have been giving the enemy so much to rejoice about lately and so little to my Father.

Some of you may know that I missed my son’s graduation because I was stuck at Dallas airport because of the bad weather we had Monday. My heart broke in two because I was so close to getting there and it just did not happen. Anger, frustration and so much pain filled my heart and I felt so sadden and defeated. I started with my questions to the Lord. Why Father? Why did I not get to be there at his graduation? I am your faithful servant (such arrogance). Then I started to try and list all the ways that I serve Him and mad that he couldn't just let me be there. HOT MESS!!

Questioning the Lord is saying God “I do not trust you”. So in all my babble to Him I asked myself Monique have you really been this faithful servant that you think you are? Devastated over my answer to myself, I wept and wept and wept some more because I knew that I haven’t. Why did I feel the need to list all my “acts of service” to God like I have to “prove” something to Him? I can study the Bible all I want, pray, serve His house, and do all these acts of what I think is service to Him but I will never be useful to His kingdom if my heart is not right before Him.

My heart in this entire situation was not pure. I doubted my Heavenly Father. I doubted that He was not in control. I am His but did I believe that?  I am His daughter just as much as my son is my child. He cares for me and my development just as much, if not more than I do for my son. It is not meant for me to understand God’s plans. If He wants me to know He will tell me. But He does want me to put EVERYTHING in His hands not just what I choose to. He wants me to let go and let Him be. 

I had to step back..waaaaaaaay back ladies and see that life is life and everything in it will not go how I plan it to be. God will wait for me to let go of my grasp on things EVEN if it takes a really long time, He wants me to see that His plans will stand, not mine (Proverbs 19:21).  I had to check myself and will need to all the days of my life. God will work everything out for my good and He most definitely will never leave me nor forsake me so I need to chill. I am not in control. 

In the midst of our pain, let’s seek Him and surrender all our ways and plans to Him so He can fulfill His plans in our lives. Let’s give the Lord much to rejoice about and not our adversary. After all, do we not want His plans to prevail more than ours?

In Christ,

Monique Smith

Prayer Starter:

Father God, thank you for your mercy and love. Forgive me for trying to “play you”. What happens in my life is because you want it to. I have asked you to teach me your ways and to put in practice what you have taught me will you please help me with my complaining spirit. My desire is to walk closer with you so that I may get to know you more. Help me decrease so that you can increase in my life. I trust you Father and I know you have my best interest at heart. How can I honor you today?  I love you. Amen

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord is with you wherever you go”.  – Joshua 1:9

~ Blessed to BE a Blessing ~

I have always been the individual who loves to give. I am not bragging but it is so very true.  I love to see the smile and shock on people’s face when they are given a surprise. I also love to encourage others. Something about it all makes my heart so full I could burst. I am so glad God made me this way. I often give to strangers, people I don’t know. I am an extrovert. I NEVER meet a stranger.  You really never know what a person is going through and if deliberately pursue God’s people with a pure heart and show small random act of kindness it can really brighten people’s lives so why not do it?

If you all follow me on Instagram or Facebook I just recently posted about how a coworker gave me a random act of kindness. I have been eyeing her gorgeous leather tote for week’s maybe even a month. Today, she gave it to me. She walked over while I was in mid conversation with other co-workers and just handed it over to me and said “here, I know you have been eyeing this so I want you to have it, plus you need motivation lately”. Isn’t that the truth? She was so right.

God used my co-worker to remind me of His love. I think that is exactly what those “random acts of kindness” are. It is God gently putting His hands on our backs and saying “I love you”. He can’t be here on earth in the flesh BUT he can and surely does live through us in Spirit daily. Random acts of kindness are about Him, not us. Yes, they are nice to receive but I believe they are made for HIS purpose and plan. So that others can get to know Him through us. After all, we are his children- small bitty versions of Him. J

There is a season and a time in heaven (Ecclesiastes 3) according to God’s perfect plan and purpose as to when a harvest will come for each and every one of us. Embracing that plan and provision can be a little difficult sometimes but we must not faint nor get weary in doing well (Galatians 6:9) while waiting on the Lord. Whether it is a gorgeous leather tote, a job, restoration in a broken marriage or for your child to come home, God will provide for you. He knows the desires of your heart and he will give it to you in HIS time, not yours.

The best solution for test and trial is to be a blessing to others. (Genesis 12:2) Today, do something random for a person? Bring them a cup of coffee or just give them a hug. Do something to advance God’s kingdom ladies. Bring a smile to someone’s face let them see the Father we serve.

Let’s go ladies together we will grow!

In Christ,

Monique Smith

Prayer Starter:

Jesus, how can I serve you today? How can I bless your Holy name in the lives of your sweet people? Lead me; help me to be a blessing to others, Father God. I want to grow and be a woman after your heart, Lord but I need help to do that. Thank you for all that you have given to me. I want to give back. I pray for the right opportunity and moment. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen

~ Purposeful Women ~

We are children of the highest God and he made us all with uniqueness and purpose (Ephesians 2:10). We are all created to do different things that impact his kingdom. But do we really believe it? Do you really believe that you can live on purpose with Christ as your guide?

Often times we can let what we see in front of us side track us from pressing on to complete God’s will for our life daily. People often wonder well, I do not know what my purpose is? I do not know what God wants me to do? Well, you can’t just sit there and wait for it to just “pop” in your head one day as maybe that is not even of God’s will. You must purposely pursue God’s word and study it. You have to move. Give Him something to work with. He will reveal much to you, in His timing. Will you believe? Can you trust what the Lord says to you through the word he so graciously gave you? 

O Sisters, I promise that you will find much of what God desires through reading his word and taking Him at his word. When you take the time to cultivate a relationship with Him just as you would your other important relationships, he comes along side you as your friend and mentor. When you listen to what the world says and you believe it now you are vulnerable to many lies from your adversary, that sly snake.God’s voice will then sound muffled and you can possible start to live in what you see for yourself instead of what he sees for you. Trusting that the Lord is for you and never against you will help you to understand that you are protected (Romans 8:31). If you feel protected chances are reassurance will come about. With reassurance, comes confidence and you are in a better position to fight the good fight of faith because you know you are loved. It is all a domino effect.

Today, I encourage you to read his word and what it says. Titus 2:3-5 reveals much about God’s purpose and provision for you.  

Personally, I see my purpose as encouraging and loving others In Christ. To empower, coach and be a mentor to others mainly women, to use my God-given abilities to advance the kingdom of God. But first, I have to see myself through God’s eyes before I can “think” about my purpose. I must be a woman of purpose. 

I desire to be kind and patient with God’s people and cut others some slack don't you? Sisters if we do not understand God’s grace how can we try and do these things? Let our mind purposely think this today: Decrease me Lord so that you can increase. Be of great cheer, YOU HAVE PURPOSE! 

Let’s go Ladies! Together we shall seek the Lord and grow!  

In Christ,

Monique Smith

Prayer Starter:

Father God, I am nothing in my own strength. All I have is because of you. Help me to understand your word in a way that sparks life in me. Help me to use the abilities you so gracious gave me so that I may be your hands and feet here on earth. I thank you for loving me Jesus and for being my light, protector and friend. I love you! Amen.