What is the Purpose of Your Marriage?

Are you arguing with our spouse every day trying to prove you are right and he is wrong or vice versa? Are you both missing each other and your communication is totally off? I am going to get real personal and I pray this helps someone because it helped me today.

Marriage is hard work and it will show you a reflection of who you truly are. Your spouse lives with you daily and they share a very intimate space with you that no one else does. They will see the good, bad and ugly. There will be times where they will point out your shortcomings. You will either embrace the honest feedback or you will fight back (I fight back most of the time). When you embrace the honest feedback you can learn some things about yourself. It is a hard pill to swallow to hear negative things about yourself but God has shown me some things about me through my marriage. When I fight to defend myself in my marriage, it is pride and pride does not foster an environment where the Lord can dwell. Pride got Satan kicked out of heaven. : /

 

 

Marriages are to reflect the image of God and YOU must commit to that purpose (Genesis 1:26-27). When either spouse starts to focus on the shortcomings of their spouse, it causes division. That division and disunity is a reflection of Satan, not the Lord.

God started speaking to me about my marriage because I asked him to. I already knew that I would not like what he had to say but because I truly want change in me, I listened hard.

God said: How are you honoring me in your marriage, Monique? Is it always about you? Are you unhappy because you are not happy with who I made you to be? Who are you becoming in this marriage?

After God asked me these questions it was like the Holy Spirit started downloading instances where I would fight to defend myself in my marriage. God showed me I have had the spirit of pride in me and I have not been truly reflecting his image in my marriage.

My husband is not my God. I cannot put so much expectation on him to make me happy. I could be unhappy for a number of reasons. I am to partner with the Holy Spirit to change my emotions, attitude and perspective about my marriage. The Lord is the only one that can help change me. I must confess my sin and surrender my ways of thinking. My perspective is my own. Once I take my eyes off the Lord and put them on myself, it is not good for my relationship with the Lord nor my marriage.  

Friends, I dislike constructive criticism from anyone, especially my husband because I can’t stand to hear what I am doing wrong (pride). My husband challenges me. He calls me out and will point out my weaknesses and I cannot stand it. I now know I have to be able to come to a place where I can recognize and learn from my husband’s honesty. I have to be able to trust he is led by the Lord and knows what is best for me. Criticism is rough for a person like me however if I can swallow my pride and value my husband's  input then I can learn to step in his shoes and see life through my husband’s eyes. Besides there must be a reason he is responding to me negatively. The Lord gave me my husband and it was with purpose. He is my opposite for a reason. I MUST trust the Lord and HIS plans for my marriage.

Marriage can be full of joy and it can be a thorn in your side and it truly is how you view the purpose of it. Marriage is a journey of two becoming one. When I said “I do” that did not instantaneously merge the two of us together. Know the purpose for my marriage from God’s eyes will help my life with my husband make sense. I cannot wait for my husband to act a certain way to change. God gave me discernment, I must get started in changing my behavior and watch God move in my life.

Honor God, trust and honor your husband and that is where true Joy is. That will be my plan and commitment, will you join me?

 

 

In Christ,

Monique Smith

Prayer Starter:

Father, I confess the spirit of pride. I confess that I have been making this marriage about me and not anything that resembles you. I am sorry and I ask for forgiveness for this. I want to honor you and my husband. I am a sinner and I recognize my part in the chaos in my marriage. Please work with me to change my emotions, reactions, thoughts and make me a new wife and woman in this area. You are my God and worthy of all the praise. Thank you for speaking to me and helping me see the error in my ways. I will walk in obedience and righteousness for your name sake. You love me and you love my marriage and I am excited to see where you take us both. In Jesus precious name, Amen.

~ Shift your Perspective! No more Excuses! ~

Each day we wake is a blessing, only if you see it as such. Each new day comes with responsibility and commitment. Each day can be lived with joy and it truly does not have to be seen as a bother. Depending how you were raised can often have an impact with how you handle life.

We are weak. We are frail humans. God wants to trust us to do HIS business down here on earth. The problem is we are all in our feelings stuck in worry, unhappiness, doubt and fear and we keep getting distracted from our heavenly assignment. All this negative activity is truly sucking the joy out of us. Life is truly beautiful if you stop and smell the roses literally. (if you live in Texas, take some Claritin, first) :P

As a believer, you have authority for much (Luke 10:19) on this earth. We were given a spirit of power and courage.  It is hard to see that when we are depressed and think this life is not making us happy. We must fight to get our flesh in check. Our flesh will run us if we are not careful.

Well, Monique that sounds great but um I just cannot see myself out of this situation right now? You really do not get what is happening to me? Sis, the situation you are in is not ideal however, it is for the glory of the Lord. You MUST trust that God knows what he is doing in your life. The situation is not about you all the time. It could very well be someone else’s break through that is in the situation with you. God is needing your obedience to let his plans work. We are always so concerned with the unknown (me included) and we want answers now and do not want to wait. We will pout, sulk, be upset and talk about our problems all day making ourselves so unhappy because WE are the issue.

We have to start to shift and be accountable for what is going on in our heart. We must take our eyes off the problem, situation or whatever it is that is causing stress and worry and focus on ALL things Jesus. It is time for kingdom business.

·         When was the last time you went in your closet to donate clothes?

·         What does your soul care look like? Have you even tried to open your Bible before you started to complain?

·         Do you know of someone that could use a hug, some hope or some encouragement?  

·         Have you found a church home? Are you serving in it?

·         Have you tried casting your care? That means surrendering it to the Lord and trusting he will work it out.

Scriptures to study: Wage war in the spirit

Ø  Luke 10:19

Ø  Matthew 28:18

Ø  1 John 4:4

Ø  2 Corinthians 10:3-5

Ø  Romans 12:1-21

There are so many things we can do right while God is moving behind the scenes moving on our behalf. We do not need to know what God is doing at all times. If we did, why is believing and trusting in God and his timing even needed? No more talking about the issue. No more worrying and fretting. No more praying for your problems to vanish. It is time you move from that valley (no more camping out) and be all that God needs you to be. Pick yourself off the floor, put down the phone, and pause, pray, wait, worship with serve. No more pity parties for you.

The mind is a true a battlefield, sis. You must renew it every second of the day. You are no longer your past. You are a new creation in Christ Jesus. You truly can do all the things God has called you to do. No weapon will form against you nor shall it prosper. You are a child of the MOST high King. You must act, think and appreciate all God has done for you and is doing for you EVEN in trial. There is blessing that will come out of the whole situation but there is something blocking your view. Partner with God to remove it and be better. Don’t feel bad, don’t give up. Keep going and fight for your life! Switch your perspective!! You cannot be happy until you decide you will be. No more blaming others. It is time to shift. Time to grow and be about Jesus. Your family is your first ministry. Start there if you cannot think of anywhere to start. Just do something and God will meet you right where you are.

In Christ,

Monique Smith 

Prayer Starter:

Lord, I am hurting. My heart is filled with so much bitterness and unhappiness. Take this burden from me, Jesus. I give it all to you and surrender my way of thinking and reacting. I want a new me, Lord. Please partner with me to change my life, my heart, and my perspective. I am nothing without you, Father. Cleanse me from my sins. I am tired of worrying and going back in forth with myself. Keep me steady, Father. Give me peace that surpasses all my understanding. I love you and thank you for all that you are doing in my life even when I cannot see it. I pray in Jesus precious name. Amen