~ Instead, Be Filled with MY Spirit ~

This will be long so grab some coffee.…..What I share is personal but I hope to help someone.

A couple of days ago I had a very weak moment an “emotional melt down” you can say. I was in much fear and doubt and used alcohol to cope. I drank 2 glasses of wine and a beer and would have drank more if not for the Holy Spirit. I felt so horrible after. I knew I was doing wrong and just pressed on in it because I was believing so many lies. I was under a spiritual attack this is for sure.

After I left my friend’s house, I felt horrible because some of my testimony is that I use to drink heavily when life thru me curve balls and Christ helped me see the lies in all that years ago. I had no desire to drink but I did it because I was sad and did not even turn to Jesus. 

Years ago I would find the nearest corner store and fill the bag up with my beverage of choice and just get drunk. When I would wake the next day I would always feel bad. That little buzz was not even worth it because I felt so ugly about myself each and every time. Alcohol and drugs are meant to strip you of your hope if you do not already know that. They come promising a fun time and then leave you completely empty. I remember I would try and “get drunk” when my kids were not around or when I knew my husband was home so I could be irresponsible for a little. I would blast my “mariachi music” and feel so sorry for myself. In Mexican culture, this is the norm: to drink and have a big BBQ on Friday and Saturday and have a good ol time “partying” and forget about your problems. Was not until I was older and found Christ again that I understood that I was living in complete lies. That whole way of living would have destroyed me if not for Jesus.

Some, would say “well, Monique you are being too hard on yourself” “what is wrong with what you did, your human” or the kicker is “Jesus, drank remember? surely you can”. For me, this type of behavior is not acceptable. Just because I am given grace does not mean I get to live a sloppy life. Drinking to drown my sorrows is unhealthy, point blank. Now, to occasionally have a glass of wine here and there is okay in my book BUT to drink with the sole intention of getting “drunk” for me, is a sin. Although the bible does not say drinking is a sin, the bible does say in Ephesians 5:18 why we should not do it: “do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit”. What is debauchery anyhow? According to Webster, this means indulgence in sensual pleasures, scandalous activities involving sex, alcohol and drugs. Hmmm. All that just is a bad mix that I do not care to put myself in. It is a life that screams more of me and less of Jesus. Proverbs 23:32 also says “in the end it bites like a snake and poisons like a viper” and it truly does. How do I move on when I do something bad? I give it to Jesus. I repent and truly seek his face with all my heart. Until I am really sorry about my behavior Jesus cannot do anything with my mess.

Why do I share all this with you? I mean because it is really putting my business out there. I share because someone somewhere has exchanged their identity in Christ for indulgence of this world. They have forgotten about the hope Jesus provides for a little and has focused on what this world can provide. I raise my hand in complete guilt. That is what I did. Someone somewhere is wrestling with this bad and I want to share what the Lord put on my heart to help encourage your spirit. You are NOT alone and NO MATTER what we face drinking will not help. Jesus can truly exchange your worries, doubts and fear with his spirit instead IF we release our grips on our thoughts and circumstances. See? I did not want to release my grips I wanted to sulk and feel sorry for myself. I did not even bother to capture each thought down. I wanted to cope in an unhealthy way so Jesus let me be. Jesus cannot dwell in that type of environment. I share my sin with you all to say EVEN in my mess that I created Jesus loves me. He will always be there to lift me out of any pit. He saves the lost that is what he specializes in but I cannot continue in my sin. Asking God to show me why I did this is what is my heart's prayer. 

If acquiring minds what to know, I drank that day because I was sad my husband was gone in travel and I started doubting him and my marriage and I started listening to the enemy. For some crazy reason I thought just the craziest things about my husband and started to call them truth. I started going backwards instead of forward. I was visiting my past is what I was doing. I started to feel lonely and to top it off I did not spend time with the Lord for 2 days, which is unusual for me. I have mentioned many times that when I try and do this life alone I fall flat on my face.

What all this taught me was that I cannot function without Jesus. I need him every second of my day. I need him in good and bad and when I leave him out of my life I can sometimes do very stupid things. Did I lose my salvation? NO. Will I fall back into past destructive behavior again? NO! I had an isolated moment that lasted all of 4 hours and I can now take this mistake and learn from it. I will tell you that when I got home that night, I asked for forgiveness. I sat and prayed with my Father and was so ashamed. He sat with me in complete quiet that next day and I heard him say “You are still mine in whatever mess you create, I am your Father and no earthly thing can ever change that. Nothing or no one can separate us, now get up and fight”. 

Isn’t like our Jesus, to just not care about what we did or whatever mess we created? He wants our hearts and when we give him our mess he will turn it all around. We are to be filled with his spirit not this world’s. Clearly, when we try and fill ourselves with poison our body rejects it, we are his children and will always be protected. NO devil in hell can take us from our Father. The devil is still a liar and God still sits on his throne.

If this is your struggle, I pray for you. Inbox me privately and we can pray together. Please know you are not alone. Jesus loves you and strongholds can be broken.

In Christ,

Monique Smith

Prayer Starter:

Lord Father God, I am so sorry for trying to live this life my way and leaving you on the back burner. All that this life has for me will destroy me if I leave you out of it. Holy Spirit, convict my heart when I am not aligned with your Holy instruction. Lord, I desire to live a life that pleases you, not me. Work with me in this area, Father God. Thank you for your love and your everlasting grace. Thank you for saving me. Help this unhealthy habit flee in the name of Jesus. May I be filled with all that you are and less of who I am in the flesh. Amen 

~ The Condition of Your Mind ~

We change our minds so much. At times, we are sure about one thing and then the next minute we are fixed on something else. One minute we have peace and the next minute we are so utterly disturbed and worried that we literally make ourselves sick. We tell the Lord we trust in Him and then we are anxious about something shortly after.

I could remember on countless occasions where I was able to stand on faith so easily one day and then the next day I was so drenched with doubt and unbelief I felt completely crazy. Why was I so double minded? Sisters, my mind wandered all over the place and I had no control over my thought life. I was double minded because I was not renewing my mind in Christ. When I was in defeat I did not seek the Lord. I was not in the word much so I had nothing to stand on other than my ways of handling defeat. My ways were/are pathetic. 

In 1 Corinthians 2:16 it tells me that I am to have the mind of Christ and to hold the thoughts of his heart. I remember being so frustrated because my mind did not look like Christ what so ever but I knew I so desperately wanted a renewed mind. The condition of my mind needed help.

As Christians, when we first get saved and receive Christ as our personal Savior, we must understand there is a process that needs to take place with many new decisions. We will not immediately have some “super powers” that some might think. We have lived life our way for a long time so we must now include Christ in our lives and work with the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit imparts new revelation to our spirit. The Holy Spirit enlightens our hearts and minds (Luke 24:45-47) and will teach us everything of the Lord (John 14:26). But we have to ask for help. We have to pray and invite the Holy Spirit into our lives daily every step of the way. The condition of our minds MUST be renewed and the only way we can have that done is with our Father each and every second our our days. In Romans 12:2 we are told to be transformed by the renewing of our mind. If we want to change the condition of our minds we must not be conformed to what this world thinks and how we use to live. In Christ, we are new sisters so this means we are to take on a new way of living and thinking. 

God is the source of ALL things. God is the channel of ALL things. God is the goal of ALL things and our only proper response is to worship him. When we daily depend of God what happens is that we transform into the image of Christ. When we seek to discern the will of God we commit ourselves to biblical principles. When this happens slowly the condition of our mind changes. We become steady in our thinking. We are being molded and shaped for God’s will and our life changes.

I encourage you to step out in faith and grab a hold of God’s truth for your life. Seek the Lord in all you do. Surrender. Repent. Study. Listen. Be still. Fast. Pray. Love. Believe. Hope and repeat it all again over and over and over each day. The closer you stay to the Lord the more the condition of your mind changes. 

In Christ,

Monique Smith

Prayer Starter:

Lord God Almighty, your love is so loyal. You never just leave me to handle this life all alone. You’re more faithful than the rising sun. Thank you for your grace, for your truth and for always being here for me. You listen every time I speak. I want to grow deeper with you Jesus. Holy Spirit, I invite you to invade my life. Come now, please help me. I need you. I am nothing without you Father. May I continue to stand strong in your name each day knowing that when I abide in you, you abide in me. Amen 

~ God Material ~

I use to always think that I could not come to Jesus until I was pure and clean, without any blemish basically. I thought that in order to be “God material” I had to fix myself first. This is one of the lies that I use to believe that prevented me from being who God needed me to be. This lie is the farthest from the truth. In fact, this is exactly what the enemy wants you to believe. Sisters, this lie will cripple you if you are not careful. When I admit that I am a mess, absolutely nothing without Jesus is when Jesus comes to me. I do not have to have it “all together” to be a child of the highest King. God is attractive to me because I am not all that attractive. In my brokenness, Jesus appears. But I had to “let” him, which is the operative word.How did I come to this realization? Not on my own for sure. I will tell you that I had to go around many mountains and live a foolish life, every day the Lord guides me. I made so many mistakes and dumb ones at that. Heck, I still mess up so many times BUT I now know the truth and it did/does set me free. 

See, back then I did not think God heard or cared about his lost, messy kids; the ones who were roaming around this life negatively living life, absolutely broken. I thought he only truly helps and cares for the kids that obey him in everything and live this “holy” life. I thought I had to be perfect to call myself a Christian. I did not think I needed to involve God in my life because I lived a “messy” one. I thought how could God help me out when I am selfish, mean, rude, bitter, and hurting people? How can he help me when I keep drowning my sorrows in alcohol? Or when my heart is so full of pain, shame or pity? How can he help me when I was so ugly to my husband and kids? Until I started spending time with the Lord and truly understanding his character and his great love for me is when a light bulb went off. Until I cried out to the Lord asking for forgiveness, for another chance is when he just came and sat with me. He put his hand in mine, picked me up from the floor and whispered that he loved me. Jesus was always with me BUT I did not understand that he doesn’t dwell in the environment I created for myself. He is so patient and will wait until I “want” to include him in my life.

The many intentional days that I sat with Jesus, he reassured me that I am “God material” and that I do have a spot in his kingdom (Galatians 3:26). Jesus showed me what my specific instructions were on this earth in his commandments and all throughout the Bible. Day by day Jesus showed me how to live an abundant and victorious life (John 10:10). He also showed me what he loves and what he does not (Psalm 97:10 & Romans 12:9). He started replacing all those lies I had been told over the years by that evil snake and replaced them with HIS truth. But you see, I had to read his truth in order to see all this. I could not rely on pastors each Sunday, Joyce Meyer books, or any others to give me this truth. He wanted me to sit with him and need him. He told me in his word that I do not have to be perfect and that is how it all changed. The bible shows us many verses that deal with the thought of this “perfectionism” if you struggle with that (1 John 1:8, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Romans 8:1-39, and James 3:2).

The more I spent with my Father, the more he showed me that I was his material. He showed me that I do matter and that I do have purpose (Jeremiah 29:11). I believe what Jesus has been doing all along was/is molding me. He wants to mold each and every one of us but the problem is we show him we do not need him so he sits back letting us do what we want. 

To be his is to believe he died on the cross for us and rose again 3 days later. To be his, we realize we are nothing in our own strength and need him to come into our lives. To be his, we take our eyes off of ourselves and keep focused on him. We are no longer live in bondage, we let him change us. To be his, is to read his word and apply it to our lives. To be his, we love, sacrifice, endure and find true joy in serving him and others. To be his, is to develop a relationship with him. I could go on and on, I hope you see my point. 

Sisters, we ARE God material and I encourage you to stop believing lies people are whispering in your ear and most importantly stop listening to any foolishness the devil is saying. All that is of God will produce good, never evil. God is not of evil. He is pure and righteous. Open up your heart and his word and start to figure out for yourself who God is and I promise you your life will change.You are a child of God, it is now the time to act like it. 

In Christ,

Monique Smith

Prayer Starter:

God, we hide things occasionally from you that we need to admit. Forgive us. Have mercy O’ gracious Father. Give us the courage to speak up, surrender and the strength to face the disappointment and move on with you. Replace all those lies we have believed with your truth. Jesus, may we yearn for your word each day. May we desire to sit with you and learn to love the things you love and hate the things you hate. You are molding us. You love us and we stand in hope and faith. Thank you for your grace and mighty arm. In Jesus’ name. Amen