Much has happened friends. I have been
busy with much: packing, moving, getting ready for school, family and marriage commitments, and homework has been just a tad bit demanding. Now, that I have vented may I share with you some things?
One day as I was sitting with my Father just having a grand old time, I heard Him ask me a question in the middle of my planning session. He asked if I would worship Him in both joy and suffering. I cried out instantly: “Yes,
Father. I will Lord! I will worship you through whatever comes my way”. In my
typical Monique fashion, I immediately responded to Him and did not think. Was that not what I
was supposed to do? Ladies, God asks me something,
an important question? Was I not supposed to be obedient immediately? Well, my
sisters I should have been honest with my Savior saying “In my strength no, but
with you, I can, yes”. It is not like He doesn’t know my every thought. It is
not like He doesn't know that when trial comes that I can be a spoiled brat. It is not like He doesn't know that I would cry, complain and pout first when
adversity strikes. I continued my praise and studying with him that day and
went about my business. I did not know nor understand why He asked me what He
did but I knew it was for a reason and deep down I was scared. I knew something
was coming.
Shortly after this conversation, what happens? Yep, you
guessed it: CHAOS……all hell broke loose, my friends. I got hit with much: in my
marriage, with my older son, school, my thoughts were weak, I was super
emotional and irritated all while trying to move. I mean you name it, it all just kept coming. I did what I knew to do. I prayed and prayed. I listened to every sermon I could get
my hands on. I went to quiet places and sat, read, worshipped and I just could
not hear my Father. He was silent, so I thought. Now, in the past (after
getting saved) when trial came I would stop reading my Bible, would not go to
church, and stop praising my Father. To be honest, I would get mad at Him. I
would say something like: “really Father, why are you doing this to me”. I
would act like a little brat like how DARE God inconvenience me. HA, what a hot
mess. Thank God he has changed me a little. :/
When all this was happening to me I told myself that this
time I would keep pressing. I had passion miraculously, even when I thought my Father was
silent. Even though life was real bad for me, I vowed to sit at His feet and thank Him for His love and all the
blessings he is doing for me and the family. I remembered the conversation I just had with the
Lord and it was my motivation. I started speaking God’s promises over me, over
my marriage, over my kids and over the situations. In the midst of all the
struggle, He was there. He was in me. He was the reason I was able to keep
going. Ladies, he never went anywhere. I was the one that moved, not Him. My thinking
changed for a little there. I had to purposely switch it to faith filled
responses. Will you worship me Monique? Will all this move you? I lifted my
hands with tears in my eyes and said: “Yes, I will worship you, my precious Father. All this will NOT move me, I will live for
you, I will stop this endless cycle of luke warm Faith”. I started worshipping,
singing, shouting, and fell to my knees. I refused to let the enemy think he
got me. I wanted to show him who I served.
When my husband said, “I am leaving”, when my oldest son
said “I have better people in my life than you”, and when my sister started
accusing me of wrong doing, I stood in faith. I stood in faith because I knew
that my Father would turn this all around for my good. Has he worked out all
the kinks? Nope, not yet. Will he ever? I don’t know, but what I do know is
that He loves me and nothing will ever change that. Why? Because He says so.
You see, I did not want to be that unstable Christian. The one who lets her
feelings rule her. The one who runs when trials come and complains when things
were not perfect. I wanted to learn how to have faith in my sufferings. I
wanted more of Jesus and less of me. I prayed it all time so it was time to put my faith where my mouth was.
Just because every trial known to man comes our way sisters,
doesn't mean that Jesus is not with us. It may “feel” like He is gone BUT
sisters He is right there with you. He did not leave me. He was not silent.
That was what I “felt”. Truth is I did not want to face the harsh reality of
what the Lord was trying to teach me. He wanted me to recognize that my
immediate reaction to trial must be faith. I must answer trial with “I trust
you Lord”. I need to stand with my head held high with Jesus as my shield not buckle.
I am so thankful for a Father that teaches and loves me. A
Father who has my best interest at heart. Ladies, whatever is going on in your
life that is making you “feel” hopeless right now, remember God is with you. God loves you and ALL of it will work out for your good. Wait a little longer. Give it to Him and step aside. Cling to His promises. Worship Him
through it all. Praise His wonderful name. Count your blessings. He must be the center of your life.
Answer the trial with faith.
In Christ,
Monique Smith
Prayer Starter:
Father, I give all my anxiety and fear to you. I surrender
my hold on them and release them into your hands. I life my eyes to you, for
you are my help in time of trouble. I will praise you in the midst of all that
happens in my life. I do not need to be anxious or afraid of anything because I
find hope in you. Your love comforts me. Your power gives me all the strength I
need. I will remain faith filled. Thank you for giving me the courage to go
forward and fulfill the destiny you have for me. In Jesus’ precious name.
Amen
