Grab some coffee this one is long. :)
I have been a busy bee since I can remember, always moving and
never stopping to just take a breather. I use to like to always have something
to do, always keep busy and always have a task list. I use to hate being alone
or just sitting still. Something about the awkwardness of it made me uneasy. As
a young girl, if my parents or older siblings left me alone I would be so angry
and cry bloody murder. Thank you Jesus, for saving a wretch like me.
About 6 months ago, I entered full-time work again after having
a year and a half off and now looking back I can see the Lord’s handiwork in
this season of my life. May I share?
My family and I were making a transition to a new area. I
was not employed during this transition and it drove me bonkers. I carried this
attitude with me to our new place. Once we finally got settled I tried and
tried to apply for work within my skill set and I was unsuccessful. Interview
after interview and nothing came about. Again,
I found myself screaming bloody murder but now as an adult woman because I
hated being at home alone. I wanted to work.
My poor husband, he had to listen to his wife complain about
how she deserves a great job. HA! I would pray and ask the Lord why can’t I
find a job? Why do I need to just sit here and do laundry, clean and pick up
after my husband and child? Lord, I have so much talent surely I can be used
out in the workplace? HALT!!! Funny now, but I was a hot mess! So selfish. Talk
about a much needed attitude adjustment!
After months of an ugly attitude I finally heard from the
Lord. He sweetly said “Monique, I need you to sit still and rest in me”. I did
not like this answer. Me? Sit still? Lord, c’mon you know I can’t do that? Every
book, sermon, scripture, or prayer I came in contact with had the scripture Psalm
46:10 in it. Now, things like that are not coincidences but at that time I did
not pay much attention. Finally, after much of my own wanderings, I surrendered.
I lifted my hands and said “your will Father”. Months of that prayer and God
started showing me how to cultivate being a stay at home wife and mommy. I found
my old love for paper again and I started writing. I was lost in
prayer and writing love notes to my Father.
Slowly, I started enjoying quiet time with God, alone
ladies! I also found joy in cooking for my family. (My cooking became better) Laundry?
Well, still learning to enjoy that one. Hahahah………But I could not wait until I
had a moment of just me, my Bible and a quiet house. You see what he did?
God used this time off I had from work to work on me. He started a pruning
process so that I can learn what true rest was. Plus, he knew all those dead
and ugly attitudes had to go. God started renewing my mind and injecting his
foundational principles in me. He wanted me to sit quiet so I can hear from
Him. God is good ladies. He turned my whole “I hate being alone” sob story to “Oh
Jesus I love being alone with you”. Now, I NEED alone time. I cannot function
without it. I am like a kid in a candy store when I get an hour all by myself
to spend with the Lord.
God showed me that He did not want me so busy, tired frustrated
or worn out that the only time I had for Him was maybe a couple minutes when I
prayed in the shower. He wanted all distractions gone so that he can teach me
not only how to be still but to find true rest in Him. All along God was
knocking at the door of my heart and I did not hear Him because I was too
distracted with life.
I learned that true rest is not doing anything physically or
mentally. It is in those moments when you sit there on your couch maybe or on
your porch just you and the Lord. Today, I encourage you to set aside all
possible distractions and find a quiet corner of the house or quiet spot in
your mind and invite the Lord in. He is
knocking and waiting for you to go away with Him to a place of true rest. Will
you sit still long enough to hear His knocks? Will you let Him in? Answer the
door ladies it is for you!
In Christ,
Monique Smith
Let's Pray:
Father, thank you for being our true rest and peace. Forgive
us for not answering your knocks at the door of our hearts. No more are the
days when we let this world fill the voids in us that we know only you can fill.
Help us to not be anxious for nothing because you O Lord are in control. Our desire is to be centered on you and you only so that we can meet you every day
at our secret place of rest. I love you Lord not because of what you do for me
but because of who you are. Amen
