Do you wish to become a wife? I always dreamt of being a
wife, to have the opportunity to mother many girls and have a loving man by my
side? Ahhhhh, my perfect happy place and just the perfect “ white picket fence”
life to have. Truth is I had no idea what it truly meant to be a wife. I was
really good at fantasizing though. My life so did not match my “dream” as I got
older. But thankfully God did show me just what His purpose was for me as a wife.
May I share?
I was married before. I married young and had no idea what I
was getting myself into. That marriage ended in divorce quickly. Why? I was not
prepared to be a wife. We were not equally yoked and we shared different goals
and mindsets. I thank the Lord for the process in it all but he had a much
bigger plan for me. I remarried. The beginning was a rocky start. For years I
tried, again everything in my own strength. What I did not realize was that I
did not bear the image of the Lord WHAT SO EVER! I had no personal relationship
with him. So all I could give my husband was the left over pain of the last
marriage and a selfish lost woman who had a rough empty childhood.
Let me share with you what the Lord revealed to me about
what a wife is in the marriage: A wife comes alongside her husband to be his
helpmeet, not a hindrance. She encourages him and helps him grow in Christ. She
is patient and kind and generous and lives up to the Proverbs 31 women we read
about. She truly wants her husband to lead the home and takes care of the home
in a way that he feels safe and secure and most importantly glad to be there. She
is not rude, selfish and just in the marriage to see what he can do for her. It
is just the opposite, she takes the time to nurture herself so that she can
give her all to her husband. She wants her soul developed so Christ can shine
in and through her.
From experience, I learned that if a woman does not take the
time to prepare her heart in Christ before the marriage, becoming a wife will
not do the marriage any justice especially her husband. You learn so much about
yourself in the process of becoming one and it is crucial to allow yourself to
grow in Christ before marriage. God designed
marriage to be the representation of His image in both the husband and wife. If
you do not bear his image your marriage will be hard to flourish and how can
you be all you need to be for your husband if your heart is not right before
the Lord? If you already married then there is hope still. Ask the Lord to
forgive you and tell Him you want to be worked on.
The single season God has you in is for a purpose. Think of
it as a pruning process of what is to come. Trust that the Lord knows what he
is doing. Don’t be so eager to have “a man” and not wait on God’s way of doing
things. He may not have a husband written in his plan for you and you have got
to be content with that. Trust me you would much rather have a marriage that is
built of the Lord then one that is not. It is not cute living outside of God’s
will and boy is it oh so painful.
If today, you are not married and you wish to be. I say wait
on the Lord. Let him have the final say on who is supposed to lead your home.
Why rush through the beautiful process of his plan? Work on you -your mindsets,
your responses, and your love walk. Embrace this season of your life and trust
that he knows what he is doing.
So here is to your process and journey. J
In Christ,
Monique Smith
Prayer Starter:
Father, I thank you that you are instructing me in the way I
should go. I thank you that your guidance and leading concerning your will,
your plan, and your purpose for my life is in your hands. I may not understand or see exactly what your
plans are in reference to becoming a wife but I trust you acknowledge my
desires and will get me to where I need to be in your timing. Help me to be
patient and not be anxious for anything. I love you Lord and I pray in Jesus
name. Amen
