Ladies, I was
bothered by it because she was right. My little rebellious self only submitted
when it was convenient for me. Every time I “had something to say” when my
husband made a final decision, suggestion or gave his guidance I showed him I
did not trust him. I showed him that my way is more important because I just
had to disagree. Did I do it all the time? No, but I did it and I recognized lately
my part in some disagreements. Bottom
line is: I must trust my husband knows what is best for me and our home. He is
the leader and accountable to the Lord. I am his helpmeet, NOT his God (Genesis
2:18). There is a way to go about some things and let’s just say I was going
about some things WRONG.
Let’s look at Ephesians 5 though because here is where God
shows us true submission, HIS way. I love reading in the CEV translation so
that is where I will be okay?
In verse 21-22 it says “Honor
Christ and put others first. A wife should put her husband FIRST, as she
does the Lord” Verse 23 goes on to say that the husband is the HEAD of his wife
just like Christ is the head and Savior of the church.
Jesus did not say honor yourself. He said honor others. In a
marriage, who is that “other”? YOU’RE SPOUSE. I would always tell my husband
GOD, you and the kids THAT is my priority. But you see every time I choose to
honor myself by not letting my husband lead I showed him he is NOT my priority.
I want to lead in the marriage and not my husband and that is the reality of
what I would sometimes do. Why do I share this with you?
I share this with you because I want you to know YOU ARE NOT
ALONE. We are not perfect BUT we can learn from what God reveals to us through
his disciples. Letting our husbands lead does so much for our marriage and for
truly honoring the Lord. We learn how to truly die to our ways in marriage. When our husbands lead and take direction from God
EVEN when we “think” our way is better, they become who God has planned for
them to become in our marriages. When we move out of the way and see the big
picture we know that biblical submission has a much bigger purpose. We start to
take our eyes off ourselves and put Christ first by putting our husband’s first
in our homes. As our husband’s helpers, we are to encourage, edify and HELP not
hinder. I am not saying we as wives have no voice. I am saying we take our
position under our husband and trust him because we know God is leading him. We trust God. Our
husbands value our input and they will listen to our suggestions but there is a
fine balance to this approach.
Well, Monique God is not leading my husband! He is doing
some real foul things, you say. Well, sis that is not up to you to worry about.
Your job is to trust God. What he is doing is between him and the Lord. Let him
do what he will do and you focus on being the helper in the marriage. You
cannot change him ONLY God can. You can pray for his heart and ask God to work
in him BUT you cannot keep frustrating yourself because he is not doing what you
think a man of God should do. God honors that and he sees your obedience to his
word. Remember Romans 8:28? God works ALL things together for our good for
THOSE who love him. Stand on this scripture.
Today, I encourage you to trust the Lord. Trust that he
knows what he is doing for you and your marriage. If things don’t look like you
imagined they would keep pressing anyway. The Lord will NEVER forsake you. God
restores, he heals and he turns things in your favors when you believe…J
In Christ, Monique Smith
Prayer Starter:
Lord, forgive me for not taking my position under my
husband. Thank you for showing me your way to love and put my husband and
marriage first. Convict my heart, when I try to lead in my marriage. Give me
wisdom and direction, Father. Help
me to let go and give everything to you in my marriage. My goal is to honor you Lord. Show me how do to that in my marraige. I want to be a
wife that demonstrates the fruits of your spirit, please help me. May I honor you
in all I do especially in my marriage, Lord. Amen 