I started a new job with a new organization this past week
and boy has it been an experience to date. I remember just weeks prior praying
to God to get me back into the workforce again and he did. He blessed me with a
job making more than I have ever made in my career. Well, in my typical fashion
the complaining started. I support the HR functions in two different facilities
and needless to say the travel started to weigh on me and I was only one week
in. I started to complain to God, I felt this spirit of frustration and felt
confused about working again. Mind you I do need to work hello I have bills to
pay need I say more. So here I am in my ugly ungrateful attitude uncomfortable
with the job I asked God for (what in the world, who does this?). I
missed my couch, my hours of bible study, my morning coffee at my home with my cat. I wanted to
quit because I wanted to start full-time ministry in Christian counseling or
coaching or get a job in human services (as God silently chuckles).
BUT of course God had to intervene on his hot mess of a daughter. As I was
talking to my husband last night, about my confusion he offered his
encouragement and I sought the word. I prayed asking God to rid me of this ugly
spirit and to show me what I needed to do. I woke this morning out of my sleep and
I heard “if you can be faithful in the little you will be faithful in much”. I
got out of bed and I heard it again. I brushed my teeth showered and there it
was again. So I ask God "please help me to understand how this applies now". I picked
up my phone and went to read in Psalms as I usually do for comfort. Psalm 37:3-4 says
“trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart”. I
take out a book of scriptures I purchased at a local grocery store called “God’s
promises for everyday” I looked up scriptures on pleasing God in the table of
contents. I open up to Colossians 1: 11 which says “his glorious power will
make you patient and strong enough to endure anything, and you will be truly
happy”. I thanked the Lord for his guidance and start getting dressed. As I go
upstairs, I hear “if you can be faithful in the little you will be faithful
with much” AGAIN and I say it over and over and then it hit me.
I was called to encourage women in Christ and use my
personal testimony to help them in their walks with the Lord. So how can I do
that if I cannot practice what I preach? If I am not acting like I am grateful
for the job God gave me, you know the one I prayed for? How can I be God’s
faithful servant in helping his precious daughters if I am complaining all the
time and cannot get myself in order? He says “Monique don’t you give up. I need
you to be faithful in the tasks in front of you (your new job, being a wife, finishing
school etc) practice being patient and in my timing, when I think you are ready
and when I can trust you with more, I will give you the desires of your heart.
In the meantime, keep working as if you are working for me. Wow…..just wow. I
will have you know this time I was not my typical rebellious self and I said “Yes,
Lord”. J
Ladies, I was in awe
and just smiled and asked for forgiveness for being such a brat and thinking I can handle what I was going through in my own strength. I ran upstairs
and told my husband immediately and he tells me “God will not give you more
than you can bear, this is one of those things you are given and it all will
make you stronger”. What a sweetheart right? God even uses him to speak to me. What
an awesome Father we serve! I totally don't deserve it but God loves me despite me being nutzo.
So, after I pick my mouth up from the ground I drive to work
and praise Jesus the whole way. I decided to silent all the confusion, doubt
and fear I had in worship. I gave it all to God and purposely pursued his peace, because
where peace lives so does Jesus. God cannot work in things that are not of him.
I cannot get what I want all the time and I need to have a better attitude when
I am uncomfortable. I had to change my perspective and I needed a “focus”
reminder. My focus is to work unto the Lord like I had always told myself in
whatever season I am in. God had no problem being God of the universe to his
crazy daughter. This is a perfect example of what happens when you put God on
the back burner while you run around like a chicken without a head trying to do
things by yourself. Monique <----guilty.
Ladies, I encourage you to stop, pause and be still. If you
have a major decision to make, take it to the Lord and if it does not require
immediate action, just wait on God. If you feel some kind of way, take those
emotions to the Lord. As you wait, rejoice and trust God at his word. If you
are feeling lost and confused like I was do not rely on your emotions or your
own strength, seek the word and align it with your thoughts. Do not try and
handle this life on your own or you will find rather quickly you will become
VERY frustrated and start to feel like throwing in the towel. God is here for
us and he cares about every detail of our lives big or small. What he is waiting for is for
us to move out of the way and let him work. While he is working he wants us to
go about life doing well (being content, being patient, loving people, being kind
and gentle, practice forgiving, staying faithful in serving etc.) for his name
sake. Let’s go ladies, together we will be faithful in the little so we can be
faithful in the big (Luke 16:10) assignments God will give us. May you rest in
his presence.
In Christ,
Monique Smith
