“Marriage is a tool and a
test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives” as I read some of the
chapters of the book: Love and Respect. First, please go google, download or
buy the book immediately. I am sure most have read it but re-read it for you
and your marriage’s sake.
We should (respect) do all this as unto God, not as unto the person, but for God because he commanded us to. Whew! Who wants to be nice to someone who is being what we perceive as mean? Raise your hands, quickly…………Anyone? It really goes against our flesh to be nice when someone is being mean BUT for you few who can master that, bless you and come talk to me, please…I know I don’t feel the need to be nice let alone respect my husband when he is being unloving. God says to though (face palm) Please see Ephesians 5:33....and stay there for maybe 10 minutes because I guarantee you God will minster to your spirit.
My friends, I am a sinner. I am rude, critical, I assume, I won’t own up to my issues at times, I nag and I complain. I have a warped view of love sometimes. My flesh wins most of the time. I fall. I fail. I get back up. I think I am righteous when I may be acting evil. My tone is off. My face will show my disappointment almost all the time. BUT God........
My husband affects me. He pisses me off and I can be so stubborn. Most times I don’t get him because I am opposite of him and in my pink mind he makes no sense. BUT my husband does not control me. I will experience much disappointment however it is MY choice to disrespect him. I will be disrespectful when I feel he is unloving to me as the book is on it with that. I will not curse at my husband (totally try hard not to) but my mouth is sharp and the faces I make.....Lord, have all the mercy possible.
I struggle with honoring my husband in disagreements because it feels he is being so unloving and it hurts the pit of my soul. I often wonder when we have disagreements how in the world can he love me and say what he is saying right now? But I rarely see, many times how I have disrespected and dishonored him with my words, tone and actions and he is human so he will react to. I am stubborn and boy is my snap back game tight....If my husband raises his voice at me, I will shut down or defend myself to no end. I will try and make him see what he has done and get so stuck there (he calls it dwelling and I call it being unheard). I want to be heard so badly (trigger from childhood) that I don’t know when to shut up at times. The book makes reference to: the crazy cycle....and we can stay on that for some time. My flesh is so weak and the devil? Goodness!! that snake is loving it with popcorn in hand and all when he sees TWO children of God be at odds. He hates my marriage and what it stands for so he will try hard to tear it down.
In Galatians 5:19-20 it says the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are outbursts of anger disputes. Our flesh is something else and it wants what it wants. In the heat of a moment, we can become someone we would hate to see.
I almost never ask myself: Is what you are about to say or do going to make your husband feel disrespected? I most times do what I want (word vomit or defend myself) and then AFTER realize what I did wrong as the Holy Spirit convicts me. Why can’t I just obey on the onset? Why can’t I see the error of my ways right then and there? Am I grounded enough in Christ? Question after question I ask myself.
My lack of respect is disobedience and is a sin (Eph. 5:33) period point blank......There is no excuse for it and it hurts God’s heart just as it would hurt me if our child makes a bad decision.
So how can I embrace my husband’s differences, stay respectful and think before I act? Whew! To embrace my husband’s differences I must not embrace his wrongs. He will mess up and it may be real bad but I must still respect him as a man when he makes an error. My husband is made in the image of God. My husband is my Father’s son and he is precious in his sight and I have to treat him fragile too!
I am responsible for me and what I do. I do
not have to match my husband’s unloving behavior but I can remember the root of
where it is coming from. My husband is a good man and always has good intentions,
in fact we all do. We react to something, always.....it’s about trying to step
back and identify what that is coupled with being responsible for the actions
and or thoughts BEFORE we see red.
Love and respect will always bring hope to the marriage as it is the base of what God commands. The great thing about JESUS is that he knows our hearts and he helps us to try harder each time we mess up. He keeps no records of wrongs. He is who we should model and strive to be like in our marriages. God is love. Don’t give up! Trust God is working. Keep showing your husband respect even though he may not be kind or nice. Look for the slightest improvements. Think on all he is and all he is not.
Marriage is to make you Holy and happiness is the by product. Your reward for all that you do is in heaven. You respect your husband because you do as it is unto the Lord. You will mess up and I just openly told you that I have (so not proud of it) but God provides light. If you partner with the Lord he will guide, teach and mentor you. The Holy Spirit will convict you and when he does you must follow him immediately. Keep striving for more sisters! I am with you doing it as well.
Love and respect will always bring hope to the marriage as it is the base of what God commands. The great thing about JESUS is that he knows our hearts and he helps us to try harder each time we mess up. He keeps no records of wrongs. He is who we should model and strive to be like in our marriages. God is love. Don’t give up! Trust God is working. Keep showing your husband respect even though he may not be kind or nice. Look for the slightest improvements. Think on all he is and all he is not.
Marriage is to make you Holy and happiness is the by product. Your reward for all that you do is in heaven. You respect your husband because you do as it is unto the Lord. You will mess up and I just openly told you that I have (so not proud of it) but God provides light. If you partner with the Lord he will guide, teach and mentor you. The Holy Spirit will convict you and when he does you must follow him immediately. Keep striving for more sisters! I am with you doing it as well.
When I respect my husband it brings glory to God and my husband feels like he is on top of the world.
Prayer Starter:
Father, I need you. I cannot respect my husband without you. Forgive my disobedience and sin. I open my heart to you. When I am angry at my spouse may I pause and go to you first before reacting. Fill my heart, Jesus with love and reverence for you. Prepare me for conflict as it will happen because you made me and my spouse different on purpose. If I feel unloved by my spouse may I respond in respect and love. I believe you hear me. I am excited for your response. I thank you in advance for helping take different steps in my marriage. Give my husband a new wife and let that woman be me. I pray in Jesus name. Amen
Father, I need you. I cannot respect my husband without you. Forgive my disobedience and sin. I open my heart to you. When I am angry at my spouse may I pause and go to you first before reacting. Fill my heart, Jesus with love and reverence for you. Prepare me for conflict as it will happen because you made me and my spouse different on purpose. If I feel unloved by my spouse may I respond in respect and love. I believe you hear me. I am excited for your response. I thank you in advance for helping take different steps in my marriage. Give my husband a new wife and let that woman be me. I pray in Jesus name. Amen
